I brought a souvenir cup at the youth fair it caught my attention and i fell in love with it.

this cup had the most beautiful blue mix with green coat on it

"Of coarse it had fair expo written on it"

At first i didn't want to use it i just wanted it!!!

but i found myself putting it to use and carried it every wear i go.

i don't know what it was about this cup but it did its justice.

i remember i filled it up with lemonade at first and i can taste the bitter from the natural lemon juice but the sugar in it out weight everything

LMAO!!!! I suck all that juice out of that cup!

It was good !

Sweet just like honey! (wink)

but i realized this cup was good and big enough to hold enough fluid oz for my body everyday

so i decide to pour my favorite drink in it!!

SWEET TEA!!

at first i poured Lipton tea with ice damnnnnnnnnnn that junk was cold but still sweet i liked it.

so i kept it that way for weeks

but i started getting use to it so i stop putting ice in the cup

without ice it gave me more to drink and lasted threw out the day longer

it filled me up
but what amaze me this cup was still strong no scrapes or nothing

any who the weather started changing

so my crazy self decide to pour hot tea in this cup

it was mix right and so sweat and warm.

i sip this tea and the warmness from this tea felt so good going into my blood stream my whole body was warm

however this cup was plastic

the bottom of this cup melted and drop into my lap

i should've known better not to heat it up to much

now I'm looking at the heat burn on my thigh

Question: should i get this aloe and tighten this skin back up ?

too be cont......

cry baby

not at all

....

I'm searching for my salvation Oh yeah I'm tired of dragging On and on Day by day Days with days? I can feel the pain The world is resting on my brain I can feel the hurt of a broken child She's going insane I pray that she'll make it home Times have changed But we can rearrange the ills? Society has swept on my feet Some words I can't even speak Still pressing Moving forward Blindly Without a trace Looking for a reason to go on I pray to an unknown God Please reveal yourself to me Cuz hope is sifting from my hands Like lost time I can't make believe I won't make believe When I look into your eyes Do you know me I'm searching for my soul Searching on For my salvation

lyrics im feeling

I forgot to call you on your birthdayYou swear your the last thing on my mindThere is nothing I can do to fix it(all you ever asked me was for time)When the lights don't glow the same way that they used toAnd I finally get a moment to myself I will realize you were everything I'm missing And you tell me your in love with someone else So can you do me a favor if I pull it together make it sooner than later We won't be here forever and I realized I waited to long but please don't move on You don't need no one else "drake"

JUST RAN CROSS MY MIND

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.

You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.

ANYWHO

REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS TO BEFRIEND U AND OTHERS ARE JUST MEANT TO BE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A SEASON.

DON'T MIX UP THE TWO CAUSE THE ONES GOD INTENDED TO BE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A SEASON ARE TEMPORARY LEARNING EXPERIENCES AND COULD END UP CAUSING U A LIFE TIME OF PAIN AND MISERY.

GOD ALWAYS GIVES US WHAT WE ASK FOR EVEN IF ITS NOT GOOD FOR US...

PLEASE TAKE HEED!

IT'S TIME

for the past two weeks allot went down and i learn allot so were should i begin well for start i see people true colors it amaze me how some can say they love and care but ....... anywho well last week the car will not go out of park i was pist off and with that issue i learn a few things that i wouldn't never thought but hey never say never a simple call in other news i past my exam I'm so happy about that cant wait to jan.

now about the trainer sessions i started back and to be honesty its actually going well my body aches but he push me allot he just keep screaming "HONEY" don't give up on me but I'm not I'm going to stick it threw this time

anyways, it was said why do i keep someone around well i learned its always good to keep a slut around you find out who's in it for you or just to get it but you just have to learn to keep the feelings and emotion to a certain level

now that were on feelings these last two weeks my eyes really been open to allot and i realize i just want to be happy again as far as that i know I'm the kind of chick tha ts very down to earth I'm very free hearted but i just don't want to be taken advantage of that's why my walls be up butt its hard when you been threw allot especially when you don't trust it gets crazy but that's why i try not to let things phase me i learned allot from just being with family cause those dudes are pits but they teach me allot once upon a time someone said that i was a good chick but i was to boyish because i didn't want to were dresses and lip gloss around the house your sick i feel as if if i cant be me all the time then its not really me then you have people that's ready but they second guess themselves I'm confuse

anyho, i've been craving for brownies and NO I'm not pregnant just a crazy crave i have so i cant wait to get my order but I'm tired now so I'm going to head off to sleep

papers by usher

I'm so loving Raymond "Usher" right now with the papers songs damn! he hit the spot on this one gotta love him for this one i just hope his new upcoming album "monster" does better but about hit the replay and listen to it again........ so I'm in la la land for now

Emotional walls

Men need to understand that a woman's reaction is only the cause of a mans action. Knowing how to treat a woman good includes the skill of reassurance since its the only thing that will cut assumptions. Some know how, some don't and some just can't be bothered to try. personally i don't put myself in the predicament of the walls coming down but sometimes things just happens. I'm not perfect. Anyway allot of women knows when there walls are down but if they believe in it they allow them to continue to come down. and trust that both sides will come as one. Although some Men are afraid of allowing there wall to fall down at times now I'm not say that they don't need any reassurance either ladies because we do do stupid things at time but men understand that most of the times our reactions are base on your action.

the thought of that touch

Its been weeks since i had a touch .the last thing i had was a feeling and that was a feeling i never felt for anybody, but now that its gone away. i was thinking damn! the time I'm usually touch has just past and yet i have not been touch. i yearn for the touch of it but yet still. i know it wont come my way it sad but funny. any who i know that i can be touch by anybody but i don't want it my body crave and yearn only for DAT! but i guess all good things come to and end ........... (I'LL WAIT)

WTF

At first i embedded it in my head that something was wrong with me, but there is nothing wrong with me.

the only thing i can say i may be wrong at is the fact that i continued with everything and started to care more than i thought i would. but at the end of the day i was glad i did

many look at me and say i did this and did that but who the hell are you

most of the ones that have something negative to say don't even hold a conversation with me

"BITCH ASS NIGGERS".

(question) why y'all so worried about whats going on in my life

"NOTHING ASS"

(any who back to you ) if i didn't care i would have walk away a long time ago but i do.

i believe and trust everything around us i open that door.

now if i should close it whats next but i bet you would say do what you want man that's you!!!

Now at times you say you care but i don't know nor feel that its real

i don't kick your name under the bus i stand up for what i believe no matter how many hoes sluts tricks or dick suckers around

but if you cant stand for me then. why the fuck am I'm around.

i know its not the sex and even if that was the case sex don't hold nobody down. my mind cant even think right now

so I'm just free written but these words hit me and ate me alive

"i don't give a fuck about the hoe anyway she only good for sucking my dick not to mention she don't mean shit to me "

Now i find that hard to believe but who knows who and what somebody says and i shouldnt be mad cause 9 out of 10 its he say she say

but im pist

cause believe it or not it sound like some shit you just might say but you know what im going to let it be know yeah I LOVE YOU THERE I SAID IT I LOVE YOU now everybody who do read will know and to the haters run and tell that"

i can honestly say i never felt that feeling before wow! it amaze me every time it make me laugh and giggle i don't think its the ____ part of it its the connection that draws me to that point LMAO!!!! that's one of the reasons why im so content and why theirs no others even when you think there is I'm still here and the interview is always open to find out more just pull out the pen and paper and write the question down ?????123.....

reply to the open relationship

OKAY , OKAY let me just say in reality there is no such thing as a open relationship. now i am not going back on what i said, but let me take it a little deeper to open the eyes to some. when it all boils down too it an open relationship is nothing but the acceptance of your mate or should i say the one you desire. because there is no way in hell that a real man will allow his woman, girl, friend, whatever he wants to call her sleep with another man. especially when he wants her to himself. anywho, the word open realationship is a title for a cover up. Now the woman in the realtionship allows and accept the fact that the guy is truely not ready to commit but in reality a true woman will learn from it think about it this guy tell you what and how he feels about the next chick it teach you the do's and the don'ts, on the the other hand to woman do not be a fool he tells you enough to make you feel like you know everything cause in reality he cares to much to unfold all of the truth cause he knows it will hurt you

open relationship

I don't know who in there mind thought it was cool

but i need to let it be SAID

To me an open relationship is when a relationship where both partners hide nothing from each other, including their past relationships and sexual experiences

as i will say

"two free spirts"

but the key to it is *communication*.

In fact,The couple are not exclusively seeing each other and can date, flirt and hook up with other people

should they wish or choose to do so

In a true open relationship the couple will be fully honest with each other

(unlike most regular relationships).

They will not get pissed at each other for stupid things

(even tho it happen from time to time )

but when things like that does happen its said your in your feelings

In fact they will just love each other

For who they are and

support each other through times of need.

Although other people will say they are sluts and it will never work,

they only say this because they are jealous.

In the end the couple will get bored of seeing other people because they realize they are the best for each other

DAT!!!!!!!

this past

SO GLAD THE CREW BACK I MISS THEM SO MUCH THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS FUN I MISS MY SISTA WE CAME SO FAR AND NOW WERE BACK THIS IS TRUE LOVE and boy here comes trouble lol

IN OTHER NEWS............................

im so glad of the keep it 100 it keeps me content at first i thought bad about it and was ready to give it up

but then i realize were i stand

i respect it completely and im glad

as long as the 100 and the respect stays in affect

then in my book we da best

trilllllaaaaaa!!! dat!!!

REPLAY

FRIDAY-- was very cool got with the girls went to chill's and had a ball just laughing and talking about the past at times i do miss the football and celebrity world then again nahhhhhhhhhhh I'm good I'm loving "trillllaaaaa world"

Saturday-- went out to hardrock not feeling the wet willies there it sucks I'll stick with Miami beach but im glad we did go for Rita (cake) Sake she so sane right now

SUNDAY---- godson birthday party at the farms the party was cool even tho we got there late but the small talks were funny well let me say outburst on that note y'all hoes petty you wouldn't feel immediate if you knew your place please get over it and get a job or something and stop trying to have baby's lol y'all hoes make me laugh

MONDAY--- im happy but a little jealous a timepiece dame!!! WERE DEY DO DAT AT! but don't be stingy with it you know you couldve took it back and got 3 more we all can share PIMP!!! LMAO!!!!

TUESDAY-- well lets not talk about that but i did develop my first role of film

wed.-- in question "popcorn" what the hell is that

NEW R&B MIXTAPE VOL.2

NICE VIBE FOR THE LADIES CHECK IT OUT @

http://www.sendspace.com/file/f0pdo6

Rock star life style

I HAVE TO ADMIT THIS ONE CAUGHT MY ATTENTION NOT BAD FOR A STARTER PLEASE CHECK THE NEW MIX TAPE AND GIVE ME YOUR INPUT

http://www.sendspace.com/file/h50lsh

EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT

This past sunday was amazing then again funny and of course the DRAMA but over all it was good

but i need to adress some things

let me just start off and say this

what YOU think im in you wish you were in but at the end of the day the time thats spent has grew to an understanding not A TITLE

NOW IN OTHER NEWS!!!!!!!!

This is the only batman i know and i know he not giving you the news but look i know you may have found this site about me it cool you can cont. wacthing me and read and hear all the news about how we living LMAO!!!!!! because he is included

DAT!!!!

OMG! you just NASTY!!!! you just had to wake me up

i dose off as i waited but when the time came around you did DAT!!! im not going to lie it was amazing in my head i mean that physically LOL!!!

still cant get the talk part out of me but in do time

i love the pressure you Put on it DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

okayokay imma calm down????

however but what so cool we put out everything even the

love till 4 in the morning

hahahahaha

JUST NASTY!!!!!! all 300 friends

WERE DEY DO THAT AT !!!!!!

First its my brother with his stupid mistakes and you still have to say bye-bye im always the

backbone Damn! why me

Then weeks later my mother just the greed going to hurt cause i always come back stronger

money does not make me i make it and

we all know that

Days later i felt good even tho it was all still in the back of my head thanks to

"friend"

Weeks later i spoke to uncle couldnt tell him but he knew something was up he just told me

"stop opening my heart up and i wont fail"

Now days later i see "friend" but thats all i see cause never once did you pick up and say....

but i heard something i didnt want to hear

At the end of the day nobody have to say anything as long as the little one good im good

but

DAT!!!

YOU REALLY STUCK IT TO ME !!!! DAMN

It was only last night I felt you slip away,

I tried so hard to hide the pain inside of me

I held you close but you weren't with me, I felt your mind a thousand miles away.

I was a fool to let you break me down,

You think by now that I would know, Just what to expect from you,

Everytime I fall, I make myself believe,That you are changing, And some day, the sun will shine through.

I don't wanna fall in love again

When I first met you your heart was empty,

You were innocent and so full of joy.

But now you've changed and I don't know you,

You played me like a toy.

You see, I was surprised to see you with that girl,

I don't want to control you, so if she's gonna hold you,

Then why don't you just stay

Everybody needs someone to hold them through the night

And everybody needs someone to tell them it's alright.

I gave you my heart and you only turned away,

So tell me

what's going to make you stay.

MOTIVATION

My motivation is to keep me happy but when you think of others you fall back sometimes.

i know i put my trust into things which confuse the situation but then again I'm trying to open the DOOR

i told myself to let go of the past and be free to whats in front of me

But what's in front of me question me and i question it

i don't know why i feel the way i feel and its not the emotion that's in control of me i just don't want the years to past by and they all in vain

"it " always have me thinking whats next

but at the end of the day "

it" makes me content

I'm proud of it

i love it

and when it finds its way ill still be by its side

somebody ask me so i said....

When a man is being unfaithful, he might not think of the consequences that will follow or how his partner may feel – because he is caught in the heat of the moment. Yes, it is the level of respect and the commitment levels that you have and that your partner has that will determine whether or not your relationship will work. Through respect, open communication and caring, you will be able to understand your man better and the chances of you relationship working out will be stronger

Most women have the tendency to lament and crib about their problems, just because they want these problems to be acknowledged, while men on the other hand, tend to crib about problems because they are looking for solutions to these problems. Obviously, there are going to be many differences between a man and a woman’s point of view and how they will react when put under pressure.

Don’t be upset when you don’t get the exact same response that you would desire or expect. Men are tough creatures to figure out. So, the next time you are upset with your man, try to think about the issue in the way that he probably would. Simply acknowledge the fact that men do think in different ways from us would definitely lift a heavy burden off your shoulders. So, the next time he acts in a weird manner, don’t sweat. This does not mean that he doesn’t care about you. He probably just thinks differently than the way that you do

unedit part1

i never said it like I'm about to say it now but its time i free myself its so much anger and bitterness build in me that i have to release it or ill kill myself on it alone maybe someone understand i cry out for help but it seems no one hears me i cry at night but there no one to wipe the tears i know they say when your at that point pray to GOD but how could that be when i blame him for being rape at the age of 12 by my mother best friend son i was so afraid there was nothing i could do i wanted to say something so bad but i didn't i was afraid every time we went north i hated to go i never forgot that night i cried i was only a little girl every time i look into his eyes knowing what he did to me i never wanted my mom and her friend to leave so i can kill him and let him suffer i wanted to let him feel what i felt and feel at night when we went north i stayed up at night everyday i got up with a knife wising and hoping he will touch me again so i can cut every piece of flesh and laugh and ask him how do It feel but he never touch me again i believe he seen the anger in my eyes and still till this day i still feel the same thing for him nobody knows what goes on behind my smile

TO BE CONT.....

TRUST

Today a few things got me thinking i don't know why and how it came about but it did but i trust it i may be wrong and foolish to even think that this is it but its a chance i willing to take ill give my all if its willing to serve me back don't want it to be selfish don't want it to be mean just want it to be there for me accidentally or on purpose it doesn't really matter as long the wall come down so i can cross over it and build back up once I'm across so no other can step over i trust it enough to rely on it but just waiting to see if it will put the 3 that will make the 2 dividing the trust it become 1

bottom of the 7th

With 6 R.B.I bases is loaded bottom of the 7Th inning and the team is counting on you. SO they can become winnings all you can think about is don't strike out with all eyes on you here comes the pitch it barely made it cross the plate now you think your okay think again cause you still need 2ND and 3rd base to make it home safe you back out of the box to catch eye contact with the pitcher but they pay you no attention with an attitude lets get this game over with i have to ACTH a race step back in the box and they just pitch STRIKE!!!!!!!game over now everyone mad at you only if you would of stayed in the box and kept your position

FINALLY - Someone is bitchy enough to say it like it REALLY is!

(GO AHEAD, CALL ME A BITCH, I DON'T CARE!!!!)

When I stand up for Myself and my beliefs, They call me a Bitch. When I stand up for Those I love, They call me a Bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts Or do things my own way, they call me a Bitch. Being a bitch Means I won't Compromise what's In my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to Tolerate injustice and Speak against it, I am Defined as a Bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for Myself instead of being everyone's maid,

Or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be.I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!So try to stomp on me,just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch ,so be it.


"unknow"

Just To Make It clear

It started to get a hold of me but i had to pull back and think and realize this is KIX were talking about I'm too cute with many potentials and a go getter that always complete her task So quite often, the easiest way to get rid of a minus is to change it into a plus. sometimes you will find that characteristics you try hard to eliminate eventually come back, anyways. But if you do the right thing, they will come back in the right ways. And sometimes those very tendencies that you dislike the most can show up in the right way at the right time to save your life, somehow........

Whats next

I cant help the pain that i face i never felt so betrayed at times it may seem like I'm happy inside as i smile but it hurt every day even when i laugh out loud it don't matter what way i look what way i turn when night fall and i lay the tears start to fall my mom say ke its going to be alright but she don't understand how deeply i feel inside. bro say its not worth it but he so heartless that he could never be wrong "Friend" makes me smile but still it hurt when i walk away or say goodnight I'm not saying that i just accept what happen but if it meant anything why wait till it come to this when it could of been finish when you wanted to begin i never thought i would say this or admit it but my heart was really in i need to close the chapter well story to this but were do i begin cause i cant open another book until this was is complete to its end

change

Hey y'all i thought really long this past week and i have came to the end of the road to just say i need to make the change its not a bad change but i know its better for me even tho i might not understand completely why I'm doing this but i feel good about it so too the close ones near me don't feel outta place with things i say or do just be there and remember I'm still GROWING UP!!!

LOVE

sometimes we omitted ourself from others and may not understand why but when we find ourself love is unstopable i should be mad at you but im not instead i grew to understand i love you like my own blood no matter how harsh and critcal your words can be we say one thing at night and wake up the next day like we never had a fight (LMAO) girl i love your crazy ass and thank GOD everyday for having a sis like you

GET IN WERE YOU FIT IN

I ran into an old friend of mines and we talk about things back in our days it amaze me how some people remain the same and never want to change living the fast life was fun and wealthy but everything come to an end when its not all right I'm glad my mind set was different from others and i decide to go another route taking control of life is funny one person once told me

" Boredom is simply the lack of imagination.”

“I’ve never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is a temporary situation.”

which now i know is the truth i will never be poor because I'm am rich in my heart!!!!

INTRO

I have close the books of my life for alot of reasons but now at this point of TIME its time to open and read the chapters i give it to you so take it for what it is WORTH

Do not be afaid because holding back only HURTS you .....

(someone asked)

What do you do when you put your all in to a person and they leave you anyway?

If you give your all and they leave it’s probably because the other person wasn’t giving there all… After a while no matter what you do if a person just isn’t in love no matter what you give or say the other person will still attempt to fill a void with someone new. If the person actually leaves take it as a token of sympathy because they are actually letting you know at that time instead of stringing you along which can only hurt more. In a relationship there is always one person that loves or cares about the other more…. AVOID being the one that loves the other more it saves heartache in the end…. SAD but TRUE!!!!

IT'S SIMPLE

Although many simpletons would love to see the KEKE empire fall...YET STILL I RISE. Weebles, Wobles, but they don't but they don't fall down...lol